10 of the Dumbest Tourists Ever
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10 seriously culturally insensitive tourists
Since I’ve been working in the News, I keep hearing about all these seriously dumb things tourists are doing while they’re travelling. Something about being overseas seems to lower peoples inhibitions and they just start doing whatever the flip they want, completely disregarding local customs. Here are my top ten favourite stories from the dumbest tourists ever….
1. Man on beach in Argentina sees two miniature La Plata dolphins swimming in shallow water
A man plucks dolphin from the water and triumphantly shows hordes of tourists on the beach. Tourists want selfies with the dolphin. Dolphin is super stressed and freaked out. Even more, people want selfies. One dolphin dies of extreme levels of stress. Tourists kill
2. A bunch of tourists pose and take photos on sacred mountaintop Kinabalu in Malaysian Borneo
Women topless, men naked. Malaysia says tourists angered mountain spirits and caused earthquake that killed 16 people. Tribal member call for tourists to pay a fine of 10 male or female buffalo or face jail time. Malaysia has no chill and fines tourists over $1,000 USD.
3. Guy on a trip in North Korea steals a political banner from a hotel
North Korea is one of the most oppressed regimes in the world and do not take kindly to people taking the piss. Korea has absolutely no chill about this. Korea sentences man to 15 years of hard labour for offence. Dude cries, a lot.
4. American foreign exchange student observes German stone statue that looks like a giant vagina
A man decides to enter into the vulva to take photos being “birthed” from said “vagina”. Man fails spectacularly by becoming stuck in the giant vulva. Man is then “delivered” by helpful German firefighters who are not as amused. Students friend takes photos of the entire ordeal and posts on the internet.
5. Two Welsh tourists on the Gold Coast get ridiculously drunk on vodka
Break into Sea World and swim with dolphins. Steal fairy penguin, Dirk, and keep him in their apartment shower. Wake up next day with hangovers and can’t remember where penguin came from. Try to release penguin into waterway but get caught. Australia is pretty chill about the whole ordeal. Tourists get fined for trespassing and stealing.
6. Finnish tourist on Easter Island thinks it is a great idea to steal part of an earlobe from one of the thousand year old statues
Chile has absolutely NO chill. Fines tourist $17,000 USD and bans him for three years from entering Chile.
7. Three French men travelling in Cambodia decide to have raunchy outing to the sacred Angkor Wat temples
Following a trend, the men get nude and take photos. Cambodia has no chill. Briskly fines and deports men. As a message to other tourists, Cambodia bans tourists from showing shoulders or knees at the sacred sites.
8. Tourists in Yellowstone National Park come across newborn Bison calf
Think calf looks cold. Believe they are totes helping the calf by shoving it in the back of their station wagon and taking it to a park ranger’s office. Ranger is furious and tries to take the calf back to its mother. All is too late. Calf is rejected by mother and has to be put down. Tourists essentially kill bison calf.
9. Woman gains Instagram following by posting drawings she has lovingly created on rocks in National Parks around the US
National parks so have no chill. Fine woman, sentence her to community service and ban her from all national parks in the US. Woman is forced to take down account.
10. Tourist in Portugal climbs 126-year-old statue of a young king to try to get the perfect selfie
Clumsy tourist instead knocks the statue onto the ground where it smashes to pieces. Tourist tries to run away but is apprehended by police. Man faces criminal charges for stupid selfie.
Don’t be silly like these tourists, check out what stuff I use every day while travelling.