Festival Survival Tips
Tips and Tricks to get the most out of your Festival Experience
So you spent all your money on the ticket and now you’ve got no dinero to party when the date rolls around. Need some unique tips on how to get the most out of your festi-sperience? As festival season gears up in the US and the UK I’ve decided to put together a post giving you my best Festival 101 tips and tricks for becoming a master of the art. I’ve collated four target-areas that will be most important to you while festival-going and cheap things you can bring along to make your happy-party times that much better!
To get you in the mood, here’s a video I made from the 2014 Secret Garden Party
2017 Secret Garden Party Information
Date: 20th – 23rd July
Theme: Sweet Dreams
Even though all the action is happening inside the festival you’ll still be making memories at your campsite. Popping up a unique camping area is fun AND other party-goers are going to be attracted to your sweet site, meaning you’ll make more friends. It’s an all-round win, really. Here are a few of my best tips:
- Tent circle – make a circle out of your tents and use the middle as your communal chill-out spot
- Deck of cards – because King’s Cup
- Duct tape – so you can fix your tent or jeans or anything, really
- Giant obnoxious sign on a stick – can be made using said duct tape. Great for marking out where your tents are OR for taking inside the grounds so your friends can easily find you in the big crowds
- Bin bags – store your wet clothes or cut holes in it for a makeshift poncho
- Loads of snacks – apples, granola bars, cakes, packet shakes, anything with a bit of nutrition that you can throw down your throat on your way in to the grounds
- Electrolytes – instant pick-me-up and hydrator
- Need extra bags? – use a sleeping bag as a HUGE bag for pillows, clothes and other stuff when doing the line-up to get in the gates
- Ziploc bags – good for literally EVERYTHING; at Secret Garden Party last year I used one in place of my wallet so that if I lost it I wouldn’t lose everything, also great for makeup, glitter, cigarettes, frozen shots, snacks…
A hard feat when living in the equivalent of a squalor by the end of the festival but just a couple of products will help keep you refreshed and looking bangin’:
- Dry shampoo – don’t even bother washing your hair, just use this ‘miracle-whip’
- Wet wipes – don’t even bother showering, just use these ‘shower-in-a-bags’
- Waterproof poncho – so sexy, so dry!
- One outfit for each day – Bring something different for each day as chances are yesterday’s’ clothes won’t be re-usable
- Cheap canvas shoes – buy these cheap-o beauties from your local clothing supermarket then go and run around in the mud. You’ll never care if they get wrecked ‘cause they were $5. Draw on them with coloured textas for more fun!
- Cheap pair of flamboyant sunnies – ‘cause you’ll probably lose them anyway
- Plain black cotton underwear – things will get dirty and you might as well be comfortable. Plus they still look relatively classy if you do hook up
- Glitter – so much glitter. Bring enough for everyone
- Bindis – Cheap, quick and cool. Not many people use these so you’ll be special
No I’m not talking about drugs, I’m talking about helpful shit to make your time inside the festival a little bit smoother, and might even stop you from losing things. Because we all know what happens when we start getting a little off-chops…:
- Plastic phone dry bag – great to just string your phone around your neck and not worrying about what happens next
- Travel tissues – ‘cause the port-a-loos will definitely run out
- Ear plugs – not just for the too-loud speakers inside the festival but will also give you the most amazing 2-hour sleep ever between 4am and 6am
- Bum bag – the only time you’ll be able to wear these comfortable, useful, little beauties without anyone batting an eyelid. Get on it
This space is for those annoying festivals where their BYO alcohol rules are tighter than a nun’s privates and your too poor to buy booze inside:
- Condoms – why are condoms in this section you might ask? NEW, but washed, (take off the lubricant) condoms filled with spirits and slipped into underwear or bras is THE best way to get alcohol past security. 2 full condoms will hold an entire 750mL bottle of spirits. Balloons will work almost as well
- Flexible, foldable water bottles – if condoms aren’t your thing these malleable water bottles can fit into pretty tight places as well
- Bags of booze inside a pringles tube – just put a few Pringles on the top and viola!
- Mini-bottles in your gumboots – just act natural as you walk past
- Inject vodka into oranges – vitamin C and a good time in one little, orange package. Also great for storing up to use a few days into the festi
- Gummy bears – put your gummies in a zip-lock bag, fill the bag with vodka and let sit. Place in the fridge to harden up again and no one will ever know
- Thermo jug with ice and cola – great for the first day. Just put a balloon filled with rum or whiskey inside and pop the balloon once you’re through the gate. Security will never to see or smell the rum-balloon inside the dark cola
Obviously: Do not bring anything camping that you wouldn’t be okay to have stolen. Leave valuables in your car. It’s much more liberating to have less things to worry about anyway.
Ready for a festival? Here’s 35 of the BEST festivals and cultural events from around the world!
Alternatively; check out this article if you’re interested in finding out how to survive a festival, and life, using only a beer can
What festival was the best you’ve ever attended? Tell me about it in the comments below!
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